Avengers...Avenge! Or something!

So, I watched the new Avengers movie, you guys!

Actually, I did so two times, because I wanted to witness the difference between 2D and 3D first hand. Spoiler alert: Not much. I actually liked 2D better as it has better colour timing. On top of that the 3D is not very impressive, and the novelty quickly fades and you are just left with a ticket that was more expensive than a regular one.

There is not much to say about it in movie terms. It's a superhero movie, and if you have seen any of the preceding marvel movies you know what to expect. It's actually rather mediocre, which is not bad, it just means that it is not as good as the first one. The first movie seemed to get the characters better, and it was more exciting. The second one seems a bit tired, as if we have seen all this before, which of course we have.

Uncanny...

Remember when Gandalf sorta looked like a sprite from a video game ca. 1997 when getting off an eagle in the first part of the new trilogy? None of that stuff here. It's amazing to see how the fight scenes are choreographed, they are like one of those old paintings that seem to cover a whole battle at once, complete with all the details.

Neato!

It frequently feels like one of those, except in motion. It's very kinetic, it makes you dart your eyes round so as not to miss any details. It manages to give its characters weight, so you expect heavy crashes when they thump into each other or the ground or buildings or everything really. Still not a mean feat in CGI constructions, even in 2015. On the other hand, there is still the feeling that actors sometimes take a step back behind the CGI, simply because they are accomplishing things that no normal human, or indeed, superhuman, could. You can only see Tony Stark getting mangled in his Iron Man Suit so many times until you realise that he should be fucking dead. Every time the suit returns to the Avengers home base Tony should be flowing out of it like a particularly runny blood sausage


The plot is thus: The Avengers are attacking an old castle in some eastern-european part of the world because they want to snatch the sceptre Loki was using in the last movie to open a portal in the sky to invite aliens. Things go down south quickly:They loose the element of surprise, Hawkeye is wounded and Captain America is offended by the mid-battle cuss words his men and woman use. They manage to get the sceptre, but a mysterious stranger triggers Flashbacks in Stark (Iron Man), which will be familiar to those who have seen Iron Man 3 and the first Avengers movie. This PTSD leads him to use the power of the freshly acquired sceptre to fulfil an old dream of his: The creation of a supercomputer similar to Jarvis, but much more powerful in terms of processing power, that he images to become the ultimate guardian of the earth, as he feels it is far too vulnerable to danger. If you have read the Ultron storyline in the comics or have seen virtually any Sci-Fi Movie at all, you'll know what comes next: Ultron becomes sentient, draws all the wrong conclusions and decides to eradicate mankind. Been there, seen that, wrote the book. The true test is something else: This development causes frictions among the Avengers, who in no time are at each others throats.

I'd rather use this review as a jumping-off point to discuss the state of the superhero movie in general, because some things stood out throughout the movie, and I think they are actually symptomatic of genre in its current form.

If you discussed, let's say, Superman's chances of winning against Batman 15 years ago, you were a nerd. If you do the same thing now you are probably part of the audience in an Avengers movie, because otherwise there is just no explanation for why the first one made all the money in the world. Seriously, look it up, some of the poorer countries had to print extra money just so they were able to handle the accounting of the move. That's a true story, totes srzly!

Not now, though!

This has a peculiar effect: It draws attention to specific strengths and weaknesses of the heroes, and it invites comparisons of their respective power levels. The movie even does it itself, when the posse tries to lift Thor's Hammer, which is supposed to move only if you are...worthy!

                                             Mjolnir is soemtimes woefully indecisive

That leads to a problem: When going up against Ultron, the Avengers face vastly different challenges, which becomes ridiculous when Jeremmy Renner is wounded in the first five minutes and it just begs the question: Why isn't he wearing one of those fancy suits Bob Downey Jr. manufactures by the dozen?

On the other hand, the amount of damage characters in this movie take is frankly ridiculous. Case in point: Ultron is ultimately an Irton Man suit withouth the liabilities a human body inside brings with it. So he's fast, he's strong, he can fly and he can take a whole lot of punishment. What business does Captain America have going up against him mano a mano? He is even told by Hawkeye that he can't go up against him. Cap says Thank you, then proceeds to do just that. Ultron conveniently forgets all his advantages and Cap actually gets some hits in. Why would the ultra powerful Ultron even engage in such a fight? Why wouldn't he just carpet bomb Cap into jelly? He could just take him by the hand, fly really high, and then...just let go, I guess. Laugh it up a bit.

More ridiculous still: Ultron shoots Cap square in the chest with one of those convenient energy rays that seem to transmit a lot of kinectic power, but forego harm in favour of heavy breathing and maybe some vaguely described pain all throughout the body. What I'm getting at: Ultron would have won if he had just used a firearm. Fly 10 Meters up in the air, riddle him with bullets gangsta style, go home.

It's also jarring to see how characters sometimes shrug of these energy blasts, and then Scarlett Johansson just up and shoots some dudes really dead. It feels unfair, because everyone else seems to get off easy in contrast.

Of course, movies would be boring if characters always chose the best option. It's just that a movie with so many different characters, that's also drawing a lot of attention to these differences, simply begs us to ask. It's the age old question what business Batman does have in the Justice League. Also, Aquaman. As for the match mentioned above: Supes wins in the first round by charbroiling Batman from the moon.

Still, Thor is sometimes a bit of an asshole about the whole worthy schtick

But maybe the problem is with me, maybe those movies just aren't for me. Maybe I'm over thinking it.

Please say it'S not just me

So, go and watch the movie, it's still very much the Tony Stark show, and I guess that's fine, because Iron Man is what made us all watch these second wave of superhero movies, and so it's just a case of giving us what we like. If you can gloss over the things I mentioned, and the occasional bit of charachter assassination, you will be entertained.

And really, it's just worth it to see the movie for Ultron alone. He just plain funny and menacing, think of Kotor's HK 47, and you get the picture. The first scene in which he appears mangled and rambling, just having gained conscience, is seriously great stuff. Hats off to James spader, is waht I'm saying.

All in all, Age of Ultron is a fun movie, it's technically very accomplished, and certainly well worth your money.